How To Help a Shy and Fearful Dog Choose To Move Closer To You

Treat and Retreat

Some eXtraOrdinary Dogs, especially those new to your home, may struggle with proximity to you and your family members. Inadvertently moving too close to your dog in passing, or deliberately crowding close to put your hands on them with the goal of trying to get them “comfortable” with you will, in fact, do the complete opposite. You may unintentionally flood them and create even more stress and fear, not less. 

Treat and Retreat is a simple, effective way to get your eXtraOrdinary Dog more comfortable around people by allowing her the choice to approach (or not). Trainer Suzanne Clothier and Dr. Ian Dunbar are both credited with developing this incredibly powerful technique.

(Don’t miss the video below demonstrating the Treat and Retreat setup.)

The Goal

The goal of Treat and Retreat is to get your dog to become comfortable enough to VOLUNTARILY move closer to you at her own pace. It may take one session for your dog to want to get close enough to you to sniff, or it may take several sessions for her to move even a few inches away from her bed, but she should never be coerced to come closer than she feels comfortable. It may also help dogs who are “stuck” or “frozen” to start moving in natural ways as they seek out the treat with their eyes and nose, and use their bodies to move freely throughout the room.

Before you panic at the length of the instructions below, I promise you that reading about Treat and Retreat takes far longer than actually doing it!

Preparing the setup for Treat and Retreat

Here’s what you need to get started:

• Lots of small, high-value treats. Liver, chicken, ham…whatever it takes for your dog to get really, really excited. The treats should be no bigger than your pinky nail since you will be using a high rate of reinforcement.
• A quiet, fairly open space so you have some distance between yourself and the dog. Don’t introduce your XO Dog to Treat and Retreat in a place that has other dogs walking, people passing by, or other distractions that could worry your dog. Inside or outside is fine, as long as your dog is comfortable and the space is big enough for the dog to maneuver comfortably. If your dog has a favorite bed or safe space, and you can sit far enough away so as not to crowd her, that may be a good starting point.
• A space that allows her freedom to move with escape routes, so she doesn’t feel trapped by furniture, walls or your presence.
• A chair or couch to sit on. Sitting makes you look less intimidating. Be aware that moving a piece of furniture can spike an already fearful dog’s anxiety because of the sudden change in environment. If this is the case with your XO Dog, choose a chair that does not need to be moved, or move the chair hours or days ahead of your set up to allow your dog to habituate to the chair in a new location.
• If you are outdoors in an unsecured area or if your dog is a flight risk, use a harness and long line. A helper will hold the long line as a safety precaution, but otherwise will stay out of the setup. The helper should not be talking or moving, and there should be no tension on the long line, so as not to distract your dog.
• Keep your hands to yourself. At no point in the game should you reach out to pet the dog.
• Optional video device so you can review the session at your leisure.

Now For The Fun Part

Sit far away from your dog, so she can find her “comfort zone” and not want to flee (or fight). Remember, you are not staring at or otherwise engaging your dog, at all!

You are usually perceived as less intimidating if you are sitting. There should be no reaching hands, wheedling voices, or hard stares that your dog may typically associate with unpredictable people. Sit sideways, not facing the dog head-on, and remain relaxed.

You will start the game by gently tossing a treat right at your dog’s feet. Do not make a big, sudden throwing gesture. Throwing movements should be slow and fluid.

Just as your dog is finishing the treat, toss another treat slightly behind her, so she turns and walks away from you to get the treat.

As your dog turns back to you, throw another treat just in front of her. You are NOT luring the dog closer, so try to throw the treat pretty close to the dog’s feet.

After your dog eats that treat, toss another over her head so she turns away to find it. This increases distance and decreases pressure.

Now throw a treat in front of your dog so she takes a step forward to get it.

Toss another behind your dog a little further away so she runs to get it, then throw another in front of her.

Keep going with this Treat and Retreat pattern until your dog is happily engaged, eager to find the treats, and inching closer to you. If your dog chooses to come up to you, drop a treat on the floor without reaching out to pet her, then immediately throw a treat behind your dog to back her up again.

Your dog may or may not choose to get close to you during the first setup, but that’s ok.

Throw the treats fairly quickly. We don’t want your dog to start panicking while waiting for the next treat to fall. It also adds excitement to the “chase”, especially if the treat slides or bounces gently on the floor.

The Dog Is Learning Valuable Skills

Your dog can move closer to, or farther away from you under her own free will. She is not being bribed or forced to interact closer than she feels comfortable.

Your dog isn’t being asked to offer any behaviors (like a sit, recall, or down). It is completely her choice whether to approach or move away.

You are not acting in a way that is alarming or unpredictable to your dog, which keeps her under threshold and able to learn.

Your dog is being desensitized at distances and durations that she chooses.

Your dog is also being counter conditioned: 1. see human, 2. stay under threshold, 3. get a treat. She will start to associate humans with really good rewards and will build a positive conditioned emotional response (+CER).

Always Leave ‘Em Wanting More

Finish the session while your dog is still happily running after treats. Remember, the goal is NOT to pet your dog, but to empower her to be able to choose how close she gets to the “scary object”, and over time, to lessen the anxiety she feels.

Even if your dog gets close enough to eat out of your hand, alternate by throwing the treats further back so she doesn’t get “stuck” too close to a situation that she can’t figure out how to resolve. Always end the session on a positive note, sooner rather than later.

At the end of the session, you should throw a treat far away from you, stand quietly and throw another handful of treats away from you as you leave the room. Your standing adds a new variable that may stress your dog. Be aware of that, and try to leave the area quietly and naturally. Please do not stand and call your dog for pets or to eat treats from your hand.

Know that what your dog just did is the mental equivalent of participating in the Olympics. Give her time to process what she just learned.

Repeat setups many times (over weeks or months). If your dog starts choosing to approach for a sniff and to eat treats at your feet consistently, try offering a treat from the flat of your hand, held close to your body, then immediately use your other hand to toss a treat behind your dog to create distance (and relieve stress).

Important Points To Understand Before You Get Started

If your dog has a history of aggression towards people, resource guards, growls, stares with hard eyes, gets still and tense, or bares her teeth, do not use this technique without the advice of a professional trainer well versed in positive reinforcement, fear, and aggression.

If your dog shows any of these behaviors, she is well over threshold, and can’t learn. Stop the session immediately!!!

If your dog will not take the food, the situation is too stressful for her. Stop at once and get your dog to a safe place. Then ask yourself these questions; Is the distance between you and your dog too small? Is the setup area too distracting? Are the treats not fabulous enough?

If your dog repeatedly stops at a certain distance away from you and won’t come closer to get a thrown treat, she is at the edge of her comfort zone. Throw a treat behind her, and end the session.

If your dog is comfortable with you sitting, try a new setup by standing in place. Do not assume that your dog will be as comfortable with you standing; you are really starting the process all over again. Progress to different chairs in the room, or start the game in a new room, first sitting, then standing. Ideally, you will play Treat and Retreat in every room of your house.

Please do not reach out to pet your XO Dog. If she is choosing to make contact with you, you may slowly stroke her under the chin, with minimal movement of hand and arm. Stop after a count of three, and gently throw a treat away for your dog to follow.

Study canine body language in general, and your dog’s body language in particular. You will be able to keep your XO Dog much safer if you know what she’s trying to tell you.

Notes on the Video

The video above shows a version of Treat and Retreat starring Katie, my own eXtraOrdinary Dog. Because we have a long relationship with a history of positive interactions, and because she’s a total chow hound, she is immediately fluid in her movements and able to move back and forth easily.

A new, severely fearful dog may not even make it off her bed for the first several sessions; that is normal. If that is the case, throw a few treats within easy reach and quietly leave the room. Allow your dog ample time (even overnight if the treats are not perishable) to choose to eat the treats on her own. She still is learning that you bring good stuff to eat. Leaving the room takes the pressure off and gives her enough distance to feel comfortable.

I used basic, boring kibble for our demo because it bounces and skitters across the floor, and Katie loves hunting for food. Even though the treat is low value, running after it and anticipating the next treat is one of her favorite things to do. I also couldn’t use high value treats because she would run right up to me and ruin the video 🙂

For a new dog, kibble will most likely not be even remotely motivating. Put in the time to find delicious treats that your dog loves. Swiss cheese, well microwaved all-natural hot dogs with no added onions or garlic, and low moisture, part-skim mozzarella are good to use if your dog likes the excitement of treats bouncing on the ground.

For video purposes, I had to ask Katie to go to her bed in order to start the game. When you work with your XO Dog, start the game wherever they are in the room; there is no perfect starting point. Please do not ask your dog for any behaviors at all.

You will notice that towards the end of the video, Kate starts to sit between tosses because I was too slow with the food. I needed to speed up my delivery of the treats so she didn’t feel the need to try previously reinforced behaviors to hurry the game along.

In our setup, Katie starts out about sixteen feet away from the chair I was sitting in. By the end of the session, she was within three feet of my chair.

Note her body language throughout the video:

1. Her ears are alert and forward.
2. Her eyes are bright with no white showing.
3. Her tail is in a neutral position wagging gently, and
4. Her movements are fluid. She was engaged and happy to play the game.

If at any point Katie pivoted her ears back against her head, her tail dropped low or tucked under her, her movements slowed or she paused and hesitated, then I would know that she felt anxious about some aspect of the game. It could have been that the distance was being closed too quickly, I was tossing the treats with too much unnecessary movement, she was feeling pressured in some way, or something in the environment changed. If that is is the case with your XO Dog, stop the session, review the video footage if you have it, and modify your approach for next time.

Good luck and share your thoughts, comments, and celebrations in the comments below.