I was just finishing breakfast when I heard a scuffle, followed by a loud “THUMP!” from the second floor. There wasn’t even time time get up from my chair before Rosie bolted down the stairs, crashed headlong into the opposite wall, and unbalanced the baby gate, which landed on top of her. I caught hold of her as she blindly continued to flee, and disentangled the drapery panel that had wound itself around her back and tail.
Rosie was terrified, so I knelt down, put a hand on her chest and spoke softly to her as I rubbed small circles on her back. Her breathing slowed and her eyes lost that wild look as I told her what had happened, and poked at the pile of fabric to show her that it was (relatively) harmless. I felt the tension leave her, and she eventually stepped back to shake off the last of the stress. She chose to sniff the offending curtain, and finally turned away without fear.
I didn’t feed into Rosie’s (legitimate) fear of the monster clinging to her back by comforting her; I gave her the time to calm down, I gave her physical comfort without restraining her, I acted like it wasn’t a big deal and I let her choose whether to explore the scary curtain or to walk away.
We don’t think twice about comforting family and friends. Comfort doesn’t make them more afraid; it gives them a feeling of safety and the courage to let go of the fear, at least a little bit. Offering comfort to our dogs gives them the same sense of comfort and safety. It allows them to start thinking, rather than just reacting, and gradually, they become more confident. Isn’t that what we all want for our shy and fearful dogs?
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