It Takes As Long As It Takes: The Truth About Your New Dog’s Adjustment Period

There is a well-meaning but inaccurate infographic in the behavior world that proclaims that ‘it takes three days for your new dog to decompress, three weeks for your new dog to learn your routine, and three months for your new dog to start to feel at home’. There are easily close to one hundred versions of the 3-3-3 ‘rule’ when you search Google images and thousands of articles that lay out what you can expect during the first few months with your new four-legged family member.  

Hope Without the Hype

I completely understand the need for reassurance when you bring home your new dog and she promptly urinates on the rug and flings herself, possibly never to be seen again, under the nearest piece of furniture. You question all your life choices leading up to adding this seemingly un-housetrained, obviously terrified (or hyperactive or possibly catatonic) dog to a life already filled with drama and chaos. You or a beloved family member may ask, “What was I thinking, and was I mentally competent at the time?”.

These graphics are meant to offer hope to families that their new dog will eventually settle in and become the pet they always dreamed of, but set unrealistic expectations for how long the process may take. These unrealistic expectations, coupled with a lack of humane, practical scientifically backed resources for fearful dogs, often cause needless suffering and misunderstandings for both your new dog and your family.

Every Dog Is An Individual

What we can all agree on is that every dog is an individual. That means that they have temperaments formed by their unique genetics, socialization history (appropriate or lack thereof), and continued exposure to environmental stimuli. Fearful dogs are much less likely to conform to an arbitrary timeline, but instead need as much time as possible to begin the often long but always rewarding process of assimilating into their new family. 

Less is More

Decompression is the most critical, and often the most overlooked, period of the assimilation process. Three days, as the graphic suggests, doesn’t even begin to address the effects of stress from moving to a new home, with new people, often without the skills to navigate a new life. Nor does it consider what your dog’s stress level was like in her previous home, rescue, or shelter. Studies with human subjects on chronic stress have found that it can take months to bring cortisol and other hormone levels back down to near baseline. Since dogs and humans have similar endocrine systems, several months of decompression may be necessary for a dog in a new environment. 

Safety First, Last, and Always

The effects of chronic stress also make it difficult to learn new behaviors, including household routines. If at the three-week mark, your new dog is still hiding under the bed, she is not in any shape to understand when and where she is supposed to eliminate, or what a leash and harness are for. From the moment you bring your new dog home, everything you and your family do should contribute to her feeling safe. 

If your dog is already feeling anxious and unsure, “surprises” like visitors to the home, moving the furniture around, or even reaching towards her to pet her may cause regression. Predictability allows your dog to feel secure, knowing “what comes next” in her day. It doesn’t mean that you can never deviate from the routine you develop, but for the first few months, try to be as consistent as possible, so your dog becomes more secure and less anxious. Take a look at our  Safety Checklist For Your New Fearful Dog for more safety tips.

Like She’s Always Lived Here

There is no magic number of weeks or months when it comes to feeling safe. As your dog settles in, maybe in 10 days or 7 months, she may start to reveal her true temperament. Sassy or sweet, laid back or bossy; feeling secure will help her confidence and resilience. She may have bonded with family members, waits at the door for her walks, and tells you when it’s mealtime. But she may also struggle to leave the safety of her yard, be scared of visitors, and hide during thunderstorms. 

It (May) Take a Village

If your dog is highly anxious, or her quality of life is limited because of her fears, enlist the help of a professional sooner rather than later. Start with a thorough vet check to rule out any underlying physical issues, then partner with a force-free, rewards-based trainer who has extensive experience with fearful dogs. If training alone isn’t easing your dog’s fears, a consultation with a Veterinary Behaviorist can put her on the road to a ‘fear-less’ life.

Remember, feelings of safety and security don’t happen overnight. Patience, predictability, and acceptance that “it will take as long as it takes” will make the transition easier for all of you.