The complaint, “When I reach out to pet my dog, he backs away (or cowers or runs out of reach)”, is one of the most common and frustrating problems faced by shy dog owners. You mean well; you’re attempting to clip on the leash for a walk, or offering a treat, or trying to physically connect with your dog through touch. Regardless of your intentions, as soon as you stretch your hand out, your dog immediately counters with a step back.
How do you stop repelling your dog with an outstretched hand? Stop reaching. Yep, leave those sneaky, unpredictable primate arms hanging down by your sides, no matter how badly your fingers twitch to caress the fur of your four legged friend. Instead, make it worth the dog’s while to come to you. Once you’ve established that only good things happen when the dog is close enough for you to touch, (BUT YOU DON’T), then you can progress to actually making contact.
Squatting or sitting on the floor makes you appear less formidable. Start in a room of the house that your dog seems most comfortable in. Plan on reading many books, watching a whole season’s worth of Game of Thrones or perfecting your Minecraft skills with all the time you’ll devote to being small and relatively still, with your arms close to your sides.
This is bonding time is for you and your dog. Try to have no other distractions while you are training. Kids/spouse/other animals all need to be occupied in other parts the house, and only interrupt if there is a crisis of national importance. You and your dog should take a bathroom break before your sessions. Have everything you need on hand before you start.
Store the Best Treats Ever in a container right by your side, but not accessible to your dog. The only way he gets a treat is if you toss it gently on the floor, at first far away from where you’re sitting, gradually reducing the distance (over days and weeks, not minutes!) until he is eating the treats close enough so you can touch him. Resist the urge! Don’t do it, no matter how close your dog is coming to you.
A note about treats: start with really wonderful, delicious (to your dog) special treats like dried liver or salmon or cooked chicken, cut into tiny pieces no bigger than your pinky nail. If you are concerned about weight gain, mix part of your dog’s daily ration with the special treats.
Don’t verbally or physically lure him closer. The dog MUST establish his zone of comfort on his own, or he will not learn that it’s his choice to set the distance. The concept of having a choice is very powerful, and teaches your dog that he is in control of the situation, not just a victim of your whim.
Once your dog sees you on the floor and happily comes up to you, keep your hand close to your body, palm up on the floor, and have a treat in your hand. Do not look at the dog, talk to the dog or lean towards the dog. All movements must be as if underwater: slow and graceful. Continue to occasionally throw treats away from you, across the room, so he gets the treat then comes back to eat one from your hand. Once he’s comfortable, incrementally raise your treat hand from the floor.
Leave your palm up and open, and place the treat from one hand into your open palm. You’re introducing movement, but not directed at the dog. Once your dog can eat from one hand as you are placing food with the other, very slowly start wiggling your fingers. The wiggling fingers close to your body will ultimately be the sign that you want the dog to come to you.
Hold a treat loosely, wiggle your fingers of the hand that has the food (keeping arms close to your body) and allow your dog to sniff your hand while you make the briefest of contact with the underside of his jaw or side of his neck, treat, then feed a bonus treat from the other hand.
For many shy dogs, reaching over them to pet them on the head and back sends them running for the hills. Your initial efforts at desensitizing your dog to touch should be concentrated on “neutral” areas, which tend to be under the chin or on the chest.
Work up to petting for about 3 seconds before you lower your hand and let him make the decision whether to remain by your side or move away.
Every time you introduce a new variable (your position, a different room, etc.) you need to start from the beginning to (re)build his confidence.
Does it take patience? Yes, it does. Does it take perseverance? Yes, it does. Does a cold nose eagerly nudging your hand for some affection make all those hours on a cold, hard floor worth it? Absolutely.
Photo Credit: Pixabay/a348363899
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