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8 Rude Moves You Should Never Try On A Shy and Fearful Dog

Annmarie McCarthy

While all dogs appreciate polite behavior from their human companions, for shy and fearful dogs, how we engage them can make or break our relationship. Here are 8 “rude moves” you should never try with a shy and fearful dog.

1. Stop staring!

Just as one dog staring at another is considered impolite and can turn into a conflict, when we stare at our shy and fearful dogs, it can cause fear and conflict, too.

Keep your eyes soft and look away often.

2. Back off!

Dogs are very, very aware of their physical proximity to another dog or person. Standing too close and bending over the back of your shy and fearful dog puts a huge amount of psychological pressure on them. If she thinks she can’t move away, your shy and fearful dog may resort to fleeing, freezing or fighting to get you to back up.

Bend your knees to get lower to the ground and stay parallel to the dog, being careful to give her extra space for good measure. No looming over the dog!

3. I don’t like being thumped on the head!

Dogs have to be taught to accept people reaching over them to pet them on the head and ears. It is highly unlikely that your shy and fearful dog is truly comfortable with being thumped on the head, by you or anyone else. He may pull away, lick his lips, get still or snap in an attempt to make you stop the rudeness.

Depending on the dog, he may enjoy having you pet his chest or side of his neck, instead.

4. Keep your hands to yourself, buddy!

Hands reaching out towards a shy and fearful dog almost guarantees that she will shrink away.

Instead, let the dog come up to you. Keep your hands loosely by your sides and wiggle your fingers to get her to come closer. If she walks into your hand, gently wiggle your fingers without moving your arm, and stop after counting to five. If she stays, pet for another count of five, stop, and repeat until she chooses to move away.

5. Bee lines are for bees, not dogs!

Don’t walk straight up to your dog. Polite dogs walk up to each other in a wide curve.

When you approach your shy and fearful dog, arc slightly away, then towards him. Minimize your presence by standing slightly to the side, one shoulder in front of the other. It makes you look smaller and less threatening.

6. Don’t hold your breath!

If you’re nervous, your shy and fearful dog will know it before you do!

Loosen your muscles and take calming breaths in and out, before and during every interaction with your shy and fearful dog.

7. Lose the drama!

Loud footsteps and raised or shrill voices can send your shy and fearful dog shaking to the back of her kennel.

Tread softly and modulate your voice. Soothing is always better than shouting.

8. I can’t take the pressure!

Imposing physical contact on your shy and fearful dog, so he “gets used to it” isn’t kind… it’s flooding.

Let your shy and fearful dog set the pace. Sit quietly on the floor, reading or watching TV and let him make the first move (and the second and the third…). If your shy and fearful dog feels that he can control the duration and distance in the interaction, he will learn quickly that you are safe and predictable, and will keep coming back for more.

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