“Worry, worry, worry, why are you so worried?” is a line from a great children’s book by Kevin Henkes titled Wemberly Worried.
Poor Gracie, my first fearful dog, had to bear the brunt of my own worry and anxiety for years before I became conscious of what I was doing, and took steps to change.
Amazing Grace came to us by way of a “courtesy listing” from a metro area Rottweiler rescue organization: pure bred Rottweiler, raised with kids, 8 months old, good with dogs, family was moving and couldn’t take her.
It turned out that she was crated 15 hours a day, was completely wild and “lived with kids” really meant that there was one five year old in the household with whom she had little contact. Oh, and she was probably Rottweiler/Pittbull mix…but she loved our Golden, Albert, and she needed a home.
As Gracie settled into our household, we realized that there was more to her than first met the eye. We first noticed that she would charge straight into playgroups with her tail high and stiff, and never “really” loosen up enough to romp with the other dogs. Visitors to the house could not walk freely from room to room without the real possibility of a nip to the ankles. She didn’t like being petted by strangers and only tolerated affection from us. Cats became prey. Joggers and other dogs elicited lunging and barking. The house was defended against all intruders, real and imagined.
Obedience classes, a behaviorist and lots and lots of tears did little to solve the upheaval in our house. I was worried all the time that Gracie would bite a dog or person, and I had no idea how to fix the problem.
Thanks to a wonderful agility instructor at our local training club, I learned of a camp for dogs (and their people) run by a trainer who was willing to accept Grace and me for the week long session. I learned four important lessons that changed the course of my life with dogs:
1.) Really pay attention to your dog’s body language. Observe what’s actually going on, rather than assume. Your dog’s body language serves as an “early warning detection system” for what your dog is feeling, and what she’s planning to do about it.
2.) Become meaningful to your dog. Have her look to you for guidance if something scares her, rather than force her to figure out how to navigate scary situations with no support.
3.) Offer guidance and protection. If your dog is reacting, chances are that you’ve put her in a scary situation and you’re not backing her up. If you don’t offer guidance and protection, she’s forced to take matters into her own paws.
4.) Give your dog the skills and space she needs to succeed. Train cues that she can do under any circumstances to get out of tricky situations, and stay far enough away from her triggers so your dog can stay calm and continue learning.
If you develop your own observation and training skills and become meaningful to your dog, you can leave the worry behind.
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