It is heartbreaking to watch your fearful dog struggle through daily life. The sights, sounds and situations that you take for granted can throw your dog over threshold and into an anxiety attack in the blink of an eye.
Whether your dog freezes in fear or reacts by barking and lunging, there are five simple ways you can help your fearful dog feel more comfortable and in control of her world, starting today.
1. Become Fluent In A New Language
It is essential that you understand your dog’s body language. If you can’t read your dog, then you can’t help your dog.
Your most effective means of keeping your dog under threshold (calm enough to think and learn, rather than react) is to closely observe how your dog is holding her body, moment by moment. You must make the commitment to really “be” with your dog and pay close attention to context so you can start to see subtle changes in your dog’s body language, which allows you adjust your response accordingly.
If you notice any of the following, your dog may be shifting towards a fearful response to something she perceives as a threat (also known as a trigger):
Head
- Closed mouth
- Yawning
- Lip licking
- Wrinkled forehead
- Squinty eyes
- “Whale” eyes – your dog widens her eyes to show the whites of her eyes, when typically all that is normally visible is the iris (colored part of the eye) and pupil
- Dilated pupils
- Staring
- Stiff muzzle
- Excessive panting
- Drooling
- Ears tense (not loose and swiveling) or pinned back against the head
- Eyes and/or head averted – no eye contact or she appears to be ignoring you
Body
- Pilo-erection – “hackles” or fur standing up on the shoulders, back and/or tail
- Tension throughout body – your dog stands still and unmoving
- Unbalanced stance -weight mostly on back legs in a crouch or semi-sit
- Unbalanced stance – dog seems to be balanced, but pads of front and rear toes are more visible than typical
- Hunched back
- Low, tense wagging of tail
- Lowered tail
- Tucked tail
- Trembling in rear legs or throughout body
- Head lowered
Vocalization
- Silence
- Whining
- Panting that results in wheezing or whining
- High pitched barking
- Incessant barking
Posture and Movement
- Hiding (in another room, behind or under furniture or behind you)
- Pressing her body against you or a nearby wall
- Lifting a paw
- Pawing at you
- Reactive behavior – barking, growling, lunging and leaping
- “Ignoring” you
- Moving away from you (or other trigger) to increase distance
- Shying away from hands
- Walking very slowly
- Reluctance to move forward
- Inability to move forward
- Sudden urge to “scratch an itch”
- “Pancaking” to the ground – flat on belly
- Drinking copious amounts of water, even if not thirsty
- Lowered, crouched stance, even when walking
- Tail tucked, even when walking
- Sensitivity to noises
- Sensitivity to objects, moving and/or stationary
- Sensitivity to environment
- Intense sniffing of ground
- Rolling over to expose belly
- Pulling (sometimes frantically) at end of leash
- Spinning at end of leash
- Trying to back out of harness and collar
- Defecating or urinating in fear
- Catatonic- completely unresponsive to outside stimuli
2. Distance is Your Dog’s Best Friend
Making your dog “face her fears” can actually make her fears worse. When you encourage your scared dog to approach the very thing that terrifies her, it sets up a conflict between what you’re asking of her and what she really wants to do, which is to create as much distance as possible between herself and the trigger. Once she has become fearful, not only have you reinforced that she was right to be afraid, you’ve also eroded the trusting relationship you’ve worked so hard to build.
Set your dog up to succeed by leaving enough distance between her and the potential trigger. Give her the chance to assess the situation on her own terms, at a distance that SHE deems safe. That may mean crossing a street, staying on the other side of the football field, or keeping your dog several rooms away from guests. It may even mean keeping your own distance from your dog if she is scared of you.
The most common mistake we make with our shy dogs is to pull them too close, too fast. If your dog can observe without being noticeably tense, can walk away, sniff, take treats, or perform simple behaviors (like “look at me” or “touch”) then she is at the right distance to learn that the scary thing isn’t so scary after all.
Be aware of your environment and plan your route (along with alternate routes) so you can be proactive about giving your dog the space she needs to remain under threshold. Once you find your dog’s comfort zone, you can start to use desensitization and counter conditioning techniques to change her emotional response from afraid to neutral or even happy.
3. Take off Your Watch and Throw Your Calendar Away
Give your dog the gift of time. Fearful dogs may need many, many short, positive encounters with whatever scares them, at a distance they choose. It may take days, months or years, or it may not happen at all, but the slower you expose your dog to the wider world, the better she will be at adapting to new situations.
Fearful dogs need extra time to work through what is being asked of them. Rushing adds to an already stressful experience. Give yourself and your dog plenty of time for each step of the journey you are taking together.
4. Patience is a Virtue
Working with your fearful dog requires sometimes unlimited amounts of patience. She is not choosing to be “dominant”, “willful” or “stubborn”; she is scared.
If your dog is scared, the thinking part of her brain shuts down and she can’t learn. If she can’t learn, she can’t substitute more productive behaviors for her fearful “default” behaviors. If your patience is wearing thin, take a deep breath, relax your shoulders and ask yourself if there is a better, less stressful way to get the behavior you need, or if you can skip it altogether, at least for the time being.
When you find yourself getting frustrated, it can be a good idea to put some physical and emotional distance between yourself and your dog; you can gain some perspective and your dog can calm down. Patience isn’t always about pushing through; it’s about knowing when to stop!
5. Start Today
Being afraid is self-limiting, exhausting and takes a tremendous amount of energy. Your dog is not choosing to be afraid; she simply doesn’t have the skills, brain chemistry or appropriate experience to handle her world in a different way.
By becoming fluent at reading dog body language and remaining patient, you can often find ways to ease your dog’s fears. Acknowledge her concerns and offer her the choice of more time or more distance (along with delicious treats to reinforce her good choices), including the option of walking away and trying another day. It is essential, both for you and your dog, to celebrate any victory, no matter how small. Working with your fearful dog is not so much about the race to a destination, but the quality of the journey. Start that journey today.
Photo Credit: Pixabay / designerpoint
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